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Welcome to HowToMarryMartin.com. It is with great pleasure and
eager anticipation that I welcome you to my quirky website; a site
which may change your life, and mine. Despite being intensely
interested in getting married in the next few years, my search for a
wife has been complicated by a number of factors which this website
hopes to eliminate. Please sequentially explore the steps below to
better understand what I have to offer and what I am looking for.
 1.
Family is paramount. To understand exactly how I feel
about them, visit my family page by clicking the adjacent
picture. |
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 2. Since
physical appearance is a necessary
ingredient in any selection process, visit ModelMartin.com—a
shamelessly unrepresentative gallery of pictures and poses. (coming
soon) |
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 3. Never wanting to leave Never-Never Land, I
maintain ties to my formative period of careless pleasures by
playing creative jokes and pranks on friends and family. It
wouldn't be fair if you continued without knowing more about my
wily ways. |
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 4.
Not one to just parrot quotes from others, I take great pride in
creating my own that reflect, at least in my mind, the realities
of existence. |
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 5. A few words, from a professional
perspective, on my background. In addition, you may want to read
this page detailing a few memorable Zen moments.
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 6.
Insight into my character would fall lamentably short if you
remained unapprised of my Spiritual leanings. As a Bahá'í, a
member of the Bahá'í faith, I believe some interesting things
that may well be worth your investigation, as it plays a rather
central role in my life. |
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 7. Perhaps the most novel and orderly
arrangement of thoughts on the issue of love available to the
web community—here I espouse and explain my radical views of
love, dating, marriage and more in a cogent treatise that has
caused quite a stir for its challenge of orthodoxy. (coming
soon) |
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 8. You now know enough about me to fill out a
Level-1 marriage application, which is much more a gimmick than an actual
compatibility instrument. Since 40% of those so far who have
filled this out are guy-friends, you can infer how seriously I
take this humorous survey. Any legitimate survey would, by
necessity, be all essay. |
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 9.
If after all of the above--my immature pranks, lackluster
appearance, insipid quotes, and warped love theories--you are
still interested in establishing something with me here is
what to do: (seriously :)
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- The only step to take: If you live in Ottawa,
become naturally better friends with me, making efforts to
having us serve together and have other meaningful contact. If
you live elsewhere my theories of courting break down and
you're on your own! (but conceptually its the same as above)
This guarantees that I will indeed be evaluating you having
been presented with the opportunity, albeit quite
non-exclusively. Generally, there is no need to approach
me with your feelings since my process is largely independent of
that--the moment I feel that there is that mystic (and
practical) connection, I will, without a moment's hesitation or
thought of reciprocated feelings, directly share my feelings
with you. It is a little bit like "Don't call me, I'll call
you." But wait, ...
There are some benefits to approaching me--besides
the more obvious point that if everyone adopted my stance no one
could ask anyone. My policy has recently changed and now if
someone expresses interest I will give a definitive response. In
fact, it will be one of these two responses:
- "Yes, I think there could be something here, I'll just
need more time to continue to get to know you. (and others)."
- "I don't think that, even with the passage of time, more
will come of this other than a very close friendship."
Follow your heart and your mind, as I will, and if in doubt
call me and ask hypothetical questions. :) |
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